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AGING GRACE
Let Her Live
Love, Aging, and the Judgments We Pass
I overheard a conversation between my hundred-year-old granny’s caregiver, my mother-in-law, and a helper who helps us with household chores.
I often hear them say that people shouldn’t live that long. They say they pray that God takes them early, as they don’t want to live to that age to live how my Granny is.
Whenever they heard some news of younger people dying they would immediately bring in my Granny and say God should take away the very old people first and should let younger people live and see the world. Everyone will die one day. We don’t know who will die when. But I find it a bit rude to say that since my granny is too old she should die rather than others. I want my granny to live forever. They wouldn’t understand my feelings because they don’t love her like I do.
Granny has dementia and is bedridden. People see her ailing in pain, screaming and shouting due to confusion and distress. But there are times she smiles too. She loves to eat. She forgets that she has eaten within a minute or two and keeps asking for more.
I guess many people associate old age with suffering, loss of dignity, and dependency. They also may fear experiencing a similar fate themselves hence they may say things like they don’t…
